"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
03/16/2018 at 09:57 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire
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"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
03/16/2018 at 09:57 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire | 5
| 4 |
Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! Everybody’s working for the weekend.
1 st Wipe : GM’s petition for an autonomous Bolt without pedals or a wheel is making progress. Driver feedback is already 27% better than the current Bolt.
2 nd Wipe : It’s starting to look like Trump’s trade threats are just a way to get concessions out of our economic partners. Everyone looking around, hoping that Jamie Kennedy, Dom DeLuise, or John Quiñones will jump out to relieve the tension.
3 rd Wipe : Appeals court upholds $40 million settlement against Jeep for burning death of 4-year-old in Grand Cherokee, claiming It’s a Negligence Thing You Wouldn’t Understand™.
4 th Wipe : Tesla’s Gigafactory under investigation for intimidating workers who might have considered unionizing. In completely unrelated news, SpaceX will begin a random lottery to send three lucky Gigafactory employees to Mars in 2021.
5 th Wipe : Toyota and Uber working together on autonomous cars. Toyota didn’t technically say “yes” but was clearly asking for this partnership for a long time.
Flush : The closest ever finish, in a racing series artificially rigged for close finishes, on a track known for close finishes, happened today in 2003 at Darlington, when Ricky Craven stuck out his tongue to beat Kurt Busch by 0.002 seconds.
Wheelerguy
> Ash78, voting early and often
03/16/2018 at 10:05 |
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Yo motherfuckers MotoGP is coming this weekend! Time to see if Old Man Rossi can win it, or if Marquez can deny him again; whether or not Lorenzo is full of shit and how KTM would fare now that they’re in their sophomore year.
Spanfeller is a twat
> Ash78, voting early and often
03/16/2018 at 10:09 |
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Flush : The closest ever finish, in a racing series artificially rigged for close finishes, on a track known for close finishes, happened today in 2003 at Darlington, when Ricky Craven stuck out his tongue to beat Kurt Busch by 0.002 seconds.
Fake news, this is the closest finish in history:
nermal
> Wheelerguy
03/16/2018 at 10:20 |
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On the bright side, you don’t have to worry about getting a race spoiled because the FP doesn’t post about MotoGP any more.
farscythe - makin da cawfee!
> Wheelerguy
03/16/2018 at 11:09 |
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my bike is ready :p
